Mama's Boy

When I was pregnant I secretly hoped the baby was a boy. I would have been really happy with a baby girl too but I really wanted a son. I had a dream soon after my husband and I met (when my crush was still a secret) that we were married and had a baby boy. I felt so much love for that dream baby that when I woke up I felt like crying because he wasn't real. He was so clear in that dream, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big smile. I've never forgotten how that dream made me feel. It was that dream 7 years ago that made me hope the baby in my belly was a boy. I was so happy to find out that my wish came true when the ultrasound showed us we would be having a Henry and not a Zoe. I was equally happy and astonished to have a little blue eyed, blonde haired baby handed over to me in the hospital. My dream baby.



I love having a son. I think the Mother/Son bond is powerful. I think the way Henry will treat women when he's older will be a direct result from our relationship. I hope our relationship will teach him to be kind and thoughtful and sensitive. I hope I teach him to be respectful of the women he dates and of himself.

I want Henry and I to have a close relationship. I want him to have the same with his Father of course, but I love my son and I really want us to be bonded. He's my baby. What Mother wouldn't feel that way? Isn't it normal to want to be close to the baby I held in my belly for 10 months? If not, I would think there was something wrong with me. So why do I hear warnings about creating a Mama's Boy??

What is this Mama's Boy syndrome that I should be doing my best to avoid? I have to wonder if this is just another irrational fear put into parents heads by a society that thinks men should be men and women should be women. Do Fathers get warnings about not letting their daughters turn into Daddy's Little Girls? I have yet to hear "Be careful or she will become a Daddy's Girl!". As far as I can tell, people think its adorable when little girls latch onto their Daddy's; clothing companies make a killing on pink "Daddy's Little Girl" t-shirts.

That made me think about the roles men and women are expected to play in our society. Why the double standard when it comes to boys and girls? What message are we sending to our children when we adhere to this Mama's Boy/Daddy's Girl irrationality? It's ok for girls to bond with their Dads because women should be dependent on men? It's wrong for a boy to bond with his Mom because it will make him a sissy? Should I not be close with my son because he won't be manly enough when he's older? Henry should only be attached to his Daddy to ensure he turns into a big strong man?

Personally I'm going to choose to ignore this silly notion. I'm not going to hold my son at arms length because being an attentive Mom might make him attached to me. A baby attached to his Mother?!! Oh no he's sure to be ruined forever!! No. Instead I'm going to focus on Henry and making sure he is a well rounded and loved little boy. I hope he has fun singing and dancing around the house with me. I hope he has a blast learning to cook with his Daddy. I plan on all three of us playing catch at the park together. I hope Henry will always feel like he can come to me when he needs me to wipe away his tears. That won't make him a sissy. That's just a child knowing that his Mommy will always love him and comfort him. That makes him secure with our relationship; knowing he can trust me. Thats parenting. If that makes him a Mama's Boy then so be it.

Let's slap down this ridiculous gender stereotype and just focus on loving our kids. So your daughter is attached to her Daddy and your son is attached to his Mommy. Or maybe your daughter is a Mommy's Girl and your son is a Daddy's Boy. It doesn't matter. For a short time in our children's lives, we, as parents, get to be the apple of their eye. We get to be the ones to hold them close, make them smile, kiss their pain away. Before we know it they'll be all grown up and looking to someone else for these things. Now is the time to cherish every moment. Now if you'll excuse me, I owe my little dream another hundred kisses before the day is through......