Welcome to Motherhood

When I was a little girl, my favorite game to play was called "house". Basically you just pretend to be an adult which usually consisted of my little friends and I being married, "smoking" our Bonnie Bell chapsticks, and being Mothers to our Cabbage Patch Kids. We used to go through the whole pregnancy and birthing process as well, stuffing the baby doll up the shirt and when it was "time", pushing and retrieving said doll back out of the shirt. I could play house every day as a kid. I never got tired of it.

I've wanted to be a Mother for as long as I can remember. However, no matter how many times I played make believe, nothing could have prepared me for the real deal.

My husband, Scott, and I were lucky. We only tried to get pregnant for 4 months, and three of those months were not not trying, which was really Scott's way of dealing with impending Fatherhood. I admit I was really trying the whole time. The pregnancy was a normal and healthy one. I had the routine first trimester nausea, followed by the happy second trimester where you feel amazing and are happily showing off your new baby bump, followed by the third trimester thoughts of "holy shit I'm friggen huge", "stop staring at me", "yes I'm still pregnant you asshole", "oh my god I can't do this", and "what I wouldn't give for a Dairy Queen Blizzard right now", among other things.

Henry was due July 29, 2011. He came July 27. I hoped I would get lucky and he would come early. Once I hit 37 weeks I started getting impatient. I was getting bigger by the day and at 39 weeks I was begging the doctor to just take him out. My doctor would just laugh, tell me to go get myself some Dairy Queen, and say "see you next week!". I was miserable. I was so big that everyone told me Henry would be a huge baby. I was told I was looking at a 9 plus pounder. I gained 50 pounds and that was with working out 4 days a week up until I was full term. Let me just tell you, 180 pounds on a 5'1" frame isn't cute.

So finally after 40 weeks, Henry decided it was time to say hello to the world. No matter how much I read or how much advice I got from friends, nothing could have prepared me for childbirth. Seriously, don't waste your money on birthing classes. The only thing I remember from those classes is that all the pregnant women in the birthing videos needed a serious waxing. Because of that class, the morning my water broke, I hopped into the shower right away and made myself look presentable. So maybe I did get something out of that class after all.

My labor was nothing like I thought it would be. What started out as an exciting day for Scott and I turned into the scariest day of our lives. I had two epidurals, both of which stopped working so I felt EVERYTHING, and my poor baby was stuck in my pelvis so I wasn't dilating. Every contraction just smashed the baby into my pelvis and spine. It's a miracle he has such a perfectly shaped head. So after 16 hours it was time for plan B, a c section. There was more drama in the operating room when I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and I needed to be knocked out with gas. My poor husband was waiting in his scrubs to come in and hold my hand and greet our son together. He ended up waiting alone for an hour and a half while I was worked on. Back in the surgery room the baby was so stuck that my doctor had to use a vacuum to pull him out and once they got him out they saw that he wasn't breathing. The gas had reached him. After 3 minutes of CPR, which I'm told scared everyone in that room, Henry came to.

Henry E Lindner was born at 7:18pm on July 27, 2011. My 9 plus pounder turned out to be a tiny 6 pound 15 ounces. I guess maybe it was too much Dairy Queen after all.

Four days later, we arrived home healthy, happy, and scared to death. Why couldn't the nurses come with us?! I needed that crazy lactation lady! What are we supposed to do now?!
Of course after a few weeks, and lots of tears and anxiety ("I think he's turning purple!", "why is he sneezing so much?!", etc.) we started to figure things out and get a little more confident.

It's been 3 and a half months and we are definitely still figuring things out. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world (if you do it right) but it's also the most rewarding. I've had lots of jobs in my lifetime but none have filled my heart the way this one does. Henry, my son, is everything. He changed my life and I couldn't be happier.